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Thursday, March 8, 2012


Alohhaaa?!!  Ever hear d of transformation? Of coursee you did righttt? What, seen TRANSFORMERS IN 3D hundred timess? Harharhar :D Right, i get what u mean. Well, i bet some of you have through  a transformation once. Rightoo? Not the one with genital part transformation okey people. An emotional one, physical ..perhaps but it’s just the way you look , the way u dressed and resemble yourself in front of your everyday people. Get me? Uhuh? Really? Better do ! hemoh3 :3

After what happened , I suddenly changed myself, ompokito e ompokito mass *it’s spanish,i dont know if it’s right eheh J* At first, (the night when WE had fight) I asked my roomate to cut off my hair. Hik3.. ^^ Made a little fringe on my head. I look like school kid! HAHA but i like it. Some how it gave me strength. I actually wanna make it like KPOP style uhaks but it turn out that I dont even have a chinese look,*more like indiannss yess*(sigh) . But it was fine. My sister said i look cute *muntah now* hehehe J

ha cenggini cenggini hii :3

Then , back home I was trying my old clothes back. Ehem.. I LOST WEGHTT!!! HAHAHA :P sooo happyyy okeyhh! So the make the story(eheh) , I tried out my 3 IHSAN shirt. I never wear that b4 okey coz it was tight.. but guess what.. SEKARANG TIDAK LAGI!! Hua3 :P sukey3 ^^ Then I got myself trying to put on my old BLUE BAG (yang dari fom1 sampai fom5 pakai) and I like what I see! And how i felt! I felt like a new me! IT’S A START OF SOMETHING NEW. I let go of everyone around me. EVERY SINGLE ONE that nobody actually occupied my heart right now. If there were sometimes ago, just let they be. Then.looking myself back in the mirror, I felt like crying. I’m gonna be 19 soon. 2 weeks ago I decided to be more mature because I dont really like me now. No! Bullshit! It’s that people dont like me.

I was loud. I spoke terribly. I laughed my heart out. I was noisy. I was naughty. Some people actually thought that I was GEDIK. With all that laughs and silly joke I made. Well, actually maybe with my gesture. I always make faces. I know. But that was ME.

 But anyhow it was sad because people dont get me. Not everybody of course. Certain people who seemed to be uneasy with my style. Coz to be honest, people like being around with me. GIRLS of course. Cos I made stupid joke and dirty tease. HAHAHA. BOYS , of course not everybody like me. Right? Well,cos the one who called me GEDIK was BOYSSSSS.. *cry now* L I know, I shouldnt be thinking bout all that. But hey I’m a human being. Not being like by people around you somehow a matter. To me yes. For now. ARGGHHH! I dont know! *confused*

So.. what I’m just wanna share is that I am having a transformation in my life. For the better , I hope J
In life, sometimes it crossed ur mind, how to be better or at least be good at something u favour. And lately , I’ve done some thinking. Thanks to my “friend”-who-is-no-longer-one , I have come to the realisation that well , first , to be a girl/woman that appreciate urself b4 anyone can. And that was when I decide to be a better me instead. For my BAKAL IMAM. Cos I wanna the best 4 me , so how can I expect the least from HIM? And I also wanted to do my parents a favour. To not carry the sins I made.. But, seriously , it’s hard. With all the seducting factor out there. My heart was suddenly opened but then.. i dont know.. Perhaps I need guidance.. That I should seek from Him? Right?

“Oh Ya Allah.,berikanlah aku petunjuk dan hidayah Mu ya Tuhan”

Shouldnt stop asking , am i right?

“ Ya Allah , help me”

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